The thing about a New Year and it's hope for a better year to come, is that there is no magic spell that is released when the ball drops, and often times the trials of the previous year carry right into the new year. I came to that realization some time that last week of 2012. I realized the new year was going to come and the struggles we face were going to be right there waiting for us. In fact they were going to be renewed in that over the break, we kind of had a break.
Yesterday brought several disappointments and reminders, and each on their own are not at all too distressing, but all piled up you start to feel like you are rolling down hill with increasing momentum and you aren't sure you are going to be able to pull it to a stop. As I felt the depression set in, and I really could feel it yesterday, I did my best to fight it. I am usually not very good at this. I let things pile up and all of the sudden I am cranky, biting people's heads off, grabbing a beer or 6 and zoning out to some tv show until bed time comes and I can just fall asleep and leave it behind.
Monday G has his next MRI. I hate that he has to go through it, I wish I could do it for him. Dan will be with us, and things are better with my mom so she will be helping with the kids. It should go well, but it's stressful and I just wish he didn't have to go with through it. At the same time I am so anxious for it to happen. I need it so badly. I NEED to know that everything is healing. I need to see PROOF that his brain is healing. I need to know that there has been no new damage since August 27th. I need to know so I can worry a little less on a daily basis. Every little ache or pain he has makes me worry. Every time he stumbles, or seems sleepy in the afternoon I freak a little inside. I need to know that those things happened while his brain was doing nothing but healing. I need to know. The MRI is Monday, and the following Monday we have an appointment with the doctor, which is a huge improvement over the last scan. He had that August 27th and we did not see the doctor until October 29th. I am glad he is having the MRI, but I am sad for him, and yesterday I had to make the pre-registration phone call, and the pre-anesthesia nurse called to do the pre-testing phone call or whatever it was. It was all right there in front of me all of the sudden, I will be glad when it's over.
Yesterday I also spoke with an attorney about the situation with our wood stove. He didn't have much good news for us. He said we can take them to small claims court but will be limited to a $3000 judgement, (which you then I have to find a way to make them pay it). The stove and installation alone cost $3500, and we have another $2000 invested into accessories and wood. To say nothing of the fact that we are back to paying $800 a month for heating oil, and have wasted nearly a year on this stove that we can not use. To say nothing of the danger they put my family in, TWICE, with their unsafe installation. Just seems like there should be more that can be done to hold them accountable. But I am losing hope. I am going to try another attorney on Monday, another perspective is worth seeking.
As we have tried to get the company who installed the stove to take it back and give us our money back, we have realized it may not happen. In fact it seems likely that it will not happen, and even more so as time goes on. Because of this we have been generating plans B, and C, etc for what we will do. Leaving a $5500 investment sitting in our living room as an unpleasant conversation starter is not going to work. The antique cook stove in our kitchen has a chimney. There is a hole cut there already and the house is only one story there and the chimney would not have to extend very far there at all. It's a good place for the new stove if we have to keep it. It's not ideal because we like the cook stove, and because the new big stove would not be centrally located for heating like it is now. But it's some where it could go if we are stuck keeping it, and we could use it there in some capacity. In order to put it there some things in our kitchen need to changed around a bit. We came up with an idea to put some cupboards in an area right near the kitchen to give us more storage nearby. We could then get rid of this huge hutch that I do not like as it always looks a mess. We could move the table a bit, and then have enough room to move the new stove and operate it easily. The estimate on the cabinets........$3400. Yeah, that's not going to happen. The one set, which would make the most difference would only be $2100.......so we could just do that one part.......yeah, that's not going to happen.
I called the woman at the stove store. I didn't want to, but after talking to the attorney I thought I better try her again, see if I could get anywhere with her. Some one else answered the phone and took a message. She is not going to call me back. I am tempted to go in there this afternoon with photos and our report and make a little scene in front of the Saturday afternoon customers. I am sure it's one of their busier days, but I just don't know if I have it in me. So anyways, that was a bust.
Over the holidays I went a little hog wild with my eating. As of Wednesday I have gotten it back in control and am already seeing results. I am thankful for that and it's giving me something else to focus on. I hope to lose the 10lbs I gained and maybe another 10 to get to a new low. We shall see. I much prefer being in control of my eating, so it's nice to be back in control. Of course I miss eating what I want when I want, but it's not good for me and I am not good at it. I did this last year too and took off the weight just fine. I think this will likely be what I do. I do not wish to make myself miserable during the holidays and miss out, so as long as I remain dedicated to fixing the damage after the holidays it's okay. Really it's only about 5lbs of water weight in the end and 5 real pounds that I have to lose. The water weight is gone already so that is good. Many go into the New Year with intentions of better health etc so I am at least in good company.